De-ja-vu

It's dark, cold, silent
I'm standing alone
Alone in a vast, deserted ghost town
I'm feeling cold...
Where's everyone?
Why did you leave me?
Why?


I opened my eyes
Cold sweat running down my face
Just a dream...
Will they really leave me?
Or is it...
Me who will leave them?
No...


The door opened
There came a shadow
I was scared...
Still, nobody was there..
Except for me, and that shadow
Then it spoke...
You...


The word darkened the world
The shadow was gone
Again, I'm alone...
I tried to imagine that this isn't real
It shouldn't be!
I tried to imagine with my..
Will...


I opened my eyes again
Everybody's around
At last... it's just a dream.
How I thought it's real..
But then they looked at me
With the face of sympathy and said...
Die...


It terrified me
I felt as if my heart just fell
But then I saw everybody leave
Disappear... fade... recede..
As if it became vice-versa
But I know.. I'll wake up again...
Soon...


Again... I opened my eyes.
I felt that I'm in the real world
I was relieved..
How I thought.. I really lost everybody
I went downstairs and was happy
To see that everybody's there.
But everybody gave me bad news
Some people died... some of the few people
close to our hearts
Why? Why do they have to say..
Goodbye?
---
Okay.. I know this poem I made a while ago is a little freaky. Yes, I scared myself off with this... but hey... Connect all the words at the end of each phrases. It's what the shadow said in my nightmare. And all those things I said in that poem appeared in my nightmares. I'm scared... I feel like I'm losing everyone. Or... myself?
This is what happened in that nightmare... the shadow appeared to me and asked me... "Do you want to die?". I answered, "no.." and I was about to say the reason why I don't want to. But then.. the shadow opened his mouth and said those words.. at the end of each phrases, "Why 'no'? You will die soon... goodbye."
And that was when I woke up. I didn't think about myself. I thought about everybody. I don't want them to... leave. They shouldn't be affected through all the dilemmas I've got. It's okay if it would be me but.. no, please, not them. I remembered the time when they said that Ledin and Ilpallazzo (members in AO) died in an accident. I inspired both of them, honestly. They made me laugh whenever I read their posts. But why? That was without warning... and then our fellow neighbor whom I often see and barely talk to. But he gives a lot of things to us. Good things... and then I knew that he died already last Monday. And now... my dad's aunt (I think she's his aunt) died. I just knew it, right now... I remembered the time when she was saying nice things about me like "Oh, you look mature already" or "Aren't you such a sweet young lady?" ...why then? Why do they have to leave all of a sudden? I know they're not that close to me, but they had a part in my life.
Now I'm scared... Just get me, not them... please.. I don't want any more pain, agony, horror... And I know that if I disappear, a lot of people would be in grief. But I just don't want them to receive the effect.

Life... horrifying... Death... like a thief in the night...

Oh my... I don't want to dream anymore...

*sees everybody stare at her*

*sweatdrops* Ahehehe ^^;;; uhm... uh.. don't mind me, okay? Take.. care of yourselves ^^ And uh... I only hope these nightmares won't bug me again tonight. IIIIIEEEEE!!! x_x *gets whacked by a metal bar by moogle/brick wall/kuponut/rice cake/whatever you call her*

Moogle: WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!
Me: are? o_o;;; I'M AWAKE! T_T Hey, that hurts ;_;
Moogle: I thought you're dreaming again.
So...nyah.